Archives for October 2021

The Importance of Good Communication with Your Divorce Attorney

October 25, 2021 By Rosemark Law Staff - s.h. Leave a Comment

When you are going through a divorce, there is a lot of information you need to share with your divorce attorney. You also need to strike a balance between sharing all relevant information and not communicating unnecessarily, since every email, phone call, and text message can increase the cost of the divorce.

Communicating with Your Divorce Lawyer

It is important for you to understand from your very first visit that anything they tell your attorney is confidential. The information will not and cannot be divulged to anyone else.

This is an important concept since the attorney needs to know everything so there are no surprises from the opposition. Almost every divorce has some difficult issue, something that the client may not realize is important or is simply reluctant to share the information.

For example, maybe you have had trouble with your income tax return or haven’t filed for a few years. You need to share that information with your attorney so your attorney can deal with it. The issue will come up and it will reflect poorly on you if your attorney is blind-sided with the information during, or shortly before, a court hearing.

How Often and How Should I Contact My Attorney?

How often you contact your attorney depends on where you are in the case. At the beginning of the process, when you are focusing on things like a statement of net worth, you will communicate more often. As the case is winding down and near the final order of dissolution, there will be fewer things to discuss.

The most efficient way to communicate is by email, text, or phone. If you receive a communication from your attorney, respond quickly. Do not go “missing in action.” Your attorney needs to hear from you to move the case along.

Learning to Communicate with Your Soon-to-Be Ex-Spouse

At the beginning of the process, in some cases, your attorney acts as a go-between between you and your spouse. As the case nears the finish line, your attorney will encourage you to learn how to talk to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. That way, you do not run up future legal bills. Besides, your attorney will not be in your life forever and you need to learn how to speak with your ex without the conversation taking a negative turn.

For answers about communicating with soon to be ex and with your divorce attorney, or other questions you may have about the divorce process, contact us at Rosenthal & Markowitz, LLP. You may also call us at 914.347.1292.

How to Communicate With Your Spouse During the Divorce

October 18, 2021 By Rosemark Law Staff - s.h. Leave a Comment

Going through the divorce process is stressful. Often, the breakdown in communication is one cause of the divorce. Even those who thought their communication was good during the marriage have trouble communicating with their spouse during their divorce.

Emotions run high. One spouse may be angry and blame the other for the divorce. There is generally heartbreak and disappointment over the failed marriage.

If this describes you and children are involved, you need to learn how to communicate. You will be with your ex-spouse for your life as you co-parent your children. You will both want to attend graduations, weddings, and other family events.

How to Communicate During the Divorce

If you are in the process of divorce, there are some ways to communicate with your soon-to-be ex-spouse that can reduce your stress.

Establish boundaries. The boundaries you set depend upon your unique communication issues. Some suggestions are:

Never, ever talk about your divorce issues in front of your children. Children suffer enough and often think they are the cause of the divorce. Be careful not to talk about it in front of them.
Determine the best communication process for you, whether email, text, or telephone. Be careful what you put in writing. It is all discoverable and can come back to haunt you if you have said something rude, disparaging, or controversial and wish you could take it back.
Limit the number of phone calls or messages if your spouse tends to contact you several times a day for non-emergency or non-urgent reasons.

Focus only on the issues. If you need to discuss finances, what is best for the children, and any other issue related to the divorce, do not stray into other volatile issues. It is easy to get an argument started and to say things like, “You always…” “You never…” Do not do that. Keep focused.

Keep it professional. Do not shout. Do not incite an argument. Do not be verbally abusive. Do not retaliate. Do your best to foster an environment conducive to open and respectful communication.

Consider using a mediator. If your attempts to communicate are still difficult and feel non-productive, it may be time for you to use a mediator who will provide you with the guidance you need to help you communicate respectfully.

Contact Rosenthal & Markowitz, LLP

For assistance in communicating with your spouse during the divorce process, or for mediation services that can help, contact our family law attorneys at Rosenthal & Markowitz, LLP. You can reach us online or by calling 914.347.1292.

Covid Vaccines: When Divorced Parents Disagree

October 13, 2021 By Rosemark Law Staff - s.h. Leave a Comment

A new issue for divorced parents that came with the COVID-19 pandemic is how to deal with their disagreement about COVID vaccines. There are two major areas where this disagreement affects the relationship:

1. When Parents Disagree About COVID Vaccines for Themselves

When one parent refuses to get vaccinated, the other vaccinated parent will likely have concerns about the unvaccinated parent passing the virus to the children during visitation. In one recent case, a mother was vaccinated and had compromised people in her family.

The mother was concerned that the children’s unvaccinated father would pass the virus to them during visitation and the children would then pass it on to family members. They handled this disagreement by agreeing that:

The father and the children would always wear masks during the visit.
The visitation would take place primarily outside.

2. When Parents Disagree About COVID Vaccines for Their Children

When parents disagree about COVID vaccines for their children, the options are:

The court order controls. Look to the court order which will generally give one parent the authority to make medical decisions for the children. If this is not spelled out, the parent who has sole legal custody is the one who can make the decision. If the parents have joint legal custody, they have a problem because that means they have equal deciding authority.
Mediation may help. If the couple is at an impasse, they may agree to have the help of mediation. The mediator can help them move from panic mode, terrified that their child is going to be very sick, into listening to a professional who can facilitate the conversation and ultimate decision making.
Petition court for assistance. If parents cannot agree, even with the help of mediation, they can seek court intervention. In most cases, the court will look to the recommendation of the children’s doctor and make an order consistent with that medical advice.

For assistance with coming to an agreement if you and your spouse are unable to agree on Covid vaccines for your children, contact us at Rosenthal & Markowitz, LLP.

What Happens to Retirement Accounts After Divorce?

October 4, 2021 By Rosemark Law Staff - s.h. Leave a Comment

New York is an equitable distribution state. This means that assets accumulated during a marriage are marital assets that will be divided equitably in the divorce. Assets in this category include real estate, cars, stocks, and joint bank accounts. Also, according to New York law, funds in retirement accounts that were accumulated during the marriage are also marital assets. The ex-spouse is entitled to a share of the spouse’s retirement benefits.

Examples of Employer-Sponsored Retirement Accounts

Some examples of employer-sponsored retirement accounts subject to equitable distribution include, but are not limited to:

Annuities.
Deferred compensation plans.
Employee Stock Ownership Plans (ESOP)
IRAs.
Profit-sharing plans.
401(k) plans.
403(b) plans.

It is not enough to have the court issue an order dividing the plan between the spouses, there must also be a Domestic Relations Order (DRO).

Domestic Relations Orders

A Domestic Relations Order (DRO) is complex. The order provides for how the funds in retirement accounts are to be divided, survivor benefits, loans that may have been taken out of the retirement fund, and more.

Generally, the ex-spouse receives half of the funds that were accumulated in the account during the marriage. There is a mathematical formula used in a DRO to calculate the amount the spouse received based on the number of years the couple was married at the time of the distribution.

Separate Property Funds – Pre and Post Marriage

When a retirement fund is divided during the divorce, the funds that were deposited prior to the marriage, and the increase of those funds due to interest, remain the separate property of the owner of the retirement fund.

It often requires a financial professional to sort out the amount that was deposited both pre and post marriage.

Experienced Divorce Attorneys Can Help

Dividing funds in a retirement plan pursuant to a divorce is complex. You need an attorney who understands how to protect your rights and who will make sure you are not surprised at retirement when funds you expected to be available are not because the DRO was not properly prepared.

For more information, contact our divorce attorneys at Rosenthal & Markowitz.